Kondisyon ni Ruffa para payagang mag-aral-abroad si Lorin–Study self-defense, attend a Bible study

HINDI pera ang problema ni Ruffa Gutierrez sakaling seryosohin ng anak n’yang panganay na si Lorin Bektas, 17, na sa ibang bansa ipagpatuloy ang pag-aaral. Hindi limitadong allowance ang kondisyong ipinahayag n’ya kamakailan para payagang sa abroad magkolehiyo si Lorin.

Nilinaw pa nga n’yang ni hindi na n’ya kailangang humingi pa ng permisyon sa ama ng mga anak n’yang si Ylmas Bektas tungkol sa mga gustong gawin nina Lorin at Venice, 16, sa buhay nila.

Deretsahang pahayag ng aktres kamakailan sa isang virtual media conference: “I’m the sole provider of my daughters. I raised them alone so only I make the decisions. Since their father had no contribution in raising them, I don’t need to inform him of what happens to the girls.”

Pag-amin at pagtatapat pa nya: “I’m always emotional when it comes to my kids, especially since Lorin told me she has plans to study abroad next year. I’m already experiencing separation anxiety as early as now. 

 “I can’t believe time flies so fast. Now she and Venice are teenagers and are trying to find their own identities, too.”

At ang pag-aaral sa ibang bansa ay masasabing bahagi ng “finding their own identities” ng dalawa n’yang anak. At ano-ano nga ba ang mga kondisyon para payagan n’yang mag-aral sa ibang bansa si Lorin at sa paglaon ay pati na si Venice?

 “First, she should study self-defense, like taekwondo, boxing, or krav maga. 

“Second, she should attend a Bible study. This is so that when she gets there, her values are intact. She’d know how to say no to people who would try to do things to her that she doesn’t like,” lahad ng butihing ina.

Ano-ano naman ang mga plano n’yang gawin ‘pag dumating ang panahong nasa ibang bansa na ang dalawa n’yang anak?

 “I don’t know yet what I’ll do. I will cross the bridge when I get there. 

“Right now, even if I have dogs, theirs is a poor replacement for the love of my children. But Lorin did say, ‘Don’t give away my room yet. I will come back.’” Mabuti naman at agad tiniyak ni Lorin sa kanyang ina na wala siyang balak na manirahan ng permanente sa ibang bansa at maging hiwalay na sa kanyang ina.

Dahil open na open si Ruffa na ilabas ang mga saloobin n’ya sa mga panahong ito, inungkat na rin ng media people kung balak n’yang humingi ng tulong sa ex-husband n’yang sa bansang Turkey pa rin naninirahan, kapiling ang bagong asawa at ang isa nilang anak (na babae rin).

Halos walang-prenong sagot ng nag-iisang anak na babae nina Eddie Gutierrez at Annabelle Rama: “If he wants to donate some kind of time and effort, or financial support, he is welcome to do so. I should also say, ‘thank you for your sperm.’ That’s all he has ever donated!”

To be fair to Yilmaz, ipinagtapat naman ni Ruffa na tumatawag naman si Yilmas sa mga anak nila at nangungumusta–kahit na ‘pag silang dating mag-asawa na ang nag-usap, natatapos ‘yon sa pagkakagalit.

 “But when he communicates, we only end up not being in good terms. The issue is that he will always promise to come and visit the girls but he won’t push through with it,” pagsusuma ni Ruffa sa mga usapan nila.

Iba kasi ang gusto ni Yilmas. “He wants us to visit Turkey, but I said I don’t think it’s the right time. They’re not yet of legal age. We can always meet him in the United States or here in the Philippines.” Mas maige nga namang sa neutral ground sila magkita at hindi sa teritoryo ng Turko na pinagmalupitan si Ruffa noon bilang misis nito!

Noong 2008 pa huling bumisita ang Turko sa Pilipinas.

Tanggap na rin naman nina Lorin at Venice ang sitwasyon ng pamilya nila, ayon pa kay Ruffa.

 “They are old enough to understand that their parents have a unique setup. Yes, they live far from their father, but that doesn’t make them any less of the beautiful persons they are. 

“There are other families with a similar setup but the kids come out thriving, and they grow up well-educated and with moral values.”

Madalas nga n’yang ipayo sa mga anak nya: “That’s why I always tell the girls, ‘Whatever pain you’re feeling in your heart, use that to become a better person. Use that to strengthen and empower you.’ This is also why, like me, I encourage them to support advocacies related to abuse of women and children.”

Paano kung nagpasya ang isa sa mga anak n’ya na sumali sa beauty contest ‘pag natapos na sila ng pag-aaral?

Deretsahang sagot pa rin ng actress-beauty queen: “I have no problem if they choose to follow in my footsteps. Being a beauty queen requires a lot of effort—she has to have poise. She also has to study and be aware of what’s happening around the world. Being a beauty queen opened a lot of doors for me.” Bongga naman talaga ang maging beauty queen sa anumang panahon!

Meanwhile, Ruffa is one of the busiest actors ngayong panahon ng kwarantina. She was part of two lock-in set productions (Love Thy Woman and The House Arrest of Us) and is currently in another, taping for the TV5 series Stay in Love.

KITANG-KITA KO
ni Danny Vibas