DUMAAN sa aking paningin sa FB ang ibinahagi ng aking kaibigang ace photographer na si Raymund Isaac.
Pa-blind item ang kuwento. Help niyo nga ako i-identify ito:
“Horror story #001-2019
“I-catalogue natin ang mga horror stories ko, so at the end of this year, I can compile them in a book and ceremoniously burn them in an altar, and offer their ashes to heaven.
“This happened in one of my shoots. Of course I cannot name the celebrities and the client and the agency involved, wag baka sumikat pa sila. It’s better that we keep you guys guessing and eventually over a glass of gin, baka masabi ko sya.
“I love the idea that if it’s a difficult shoot, people always call on me. And if it’s a difficult shoot involving celebrities, they always call me too..
“This shoot involves a female celebrity. Mabait sya. I never experienced her making taray, she works hard and she doesn’t complain no matter how difficult or irrational (Note: I didn’t say stupid ha) the instructions, requests or requierments are. In short mahaba ang pisi nitong girl na itish!
“Character two. My art director. Young guy na naka-track suit, adidas from head to toe, including a cap that matches his outfit. The cap is brought low just to cover his eyes. Take note this shoot in inside a warehouse, walang araw, so hindi ko alam baka lang may tinataguan si art director kaya feeling incognito sya.
“Sceneario: I am shooting the female celebrity while she is sitting and there is a table in front of her, while she is holding the product.
“Art Director(AD): ‘Can she turn right and lift the product?’
Raymund: “She just did.” I see that he is only looking at the monitor and not at what’s going on in front of him.
Girl Celeb: “Ganito po?”
AD: “Yes.” then turns to the monitor again.
Raymund: “Sir, dito ho kayo mag concentrate sa front at wag sa monitor, mas mabilis kumilos yon model natin kaysa sa loading sa screen..”
AD: “I think she’s fat.”
Raymund: Thinking to myself, you never say fat to anyone out loud. Mabait si girl and replies with a smile sarcastically;
Celeb: “ If I use my arm to cover my bilbil, happy ka na?”
ASD: “Puwede..” no emotion.
so we shoot a few rounds..
AD: “And laki ng boobs, Malaswa tignan..”
Celeb: “Naku wala na ho akong magagawa dyan, package deal ho kasi.. Sana sa approval pa lang ng wardrobe na kita na ninyo yan.. Takpan natin ng kamay ko para hindi halata..”
The female celeb goes to do so…
AD: “Pero impolite ipatong ang elbows sa table, takpan mo, walang elbows, hold the product high,, then cover your bilbil nga.”
“Patay, impossible ito, at medyo bastos na ang dating nitong AD natin.”
Naintindihan niyo ba at nahulaan kung sino?
ni Pilar Mateo